


Free to Be You and Me

by FreezingAlyce



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:01:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23542003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreezingAlyce/pseuds/FreezingAlyce
Summary: Dean and Cas start to build a friendship, though it feels like it was supposed to be something else.“Do you need two keys?” he said, nodding towards Cas who was sitting immobile in the Impala."No, uh, he’s not staying,” Dean choked out."Right, okay, sure,” the kid winked at him.He fucking winked.Flustered and annoyed, Dean grabbed the key out of the kid’s hand and pushed his way out the door.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Free to Be You and Me

**Author's Note:**

> Set somewhere along the way in Season Five.
> 
> E for porn in later chapters.

Dean was riding high on adrenaline, still so keyed up all he could do was flex his fingers over the steering wheel. The drive back from Maine felt longer, but then again maybe it was the intensity of the day he hadn’t been able to shake. Cas sat next to him, starting thoughtfully out of the windshield into the rainy darkness. Dean glanced over, somehow still surprised at the placid calmness Cas exuded, even after the day they had just had. _We just trapped a freaking archangel! We just pissed of a fucking angel of the lord. Fuck, Cas called him 'his little bitch,' fucking challenged him like it was nothing._ Dean couldn’t tell if it was excitement or panic that was fueling him, but he’d caught a second wind and decided they’d drive back in one go. Dean looked over again, Cas was lost in thought. His brows furrowed slightly, momentarily betraying his normally concealed thoughts.

“You okay?” Dean asked. Cas glanced up at him but didn’t respond. “Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but I do know a little something about missing fathers.” They’d learned a lot about one another today. Dean’s mind flipped through the highlights of his childhood-waiting for his dad to come back, he and Sam sitting in front of some nowhere motel counting out pocket change for dinner, him calling John’s cell for the fifth time and getting a voicemail, wondering if a hunt had gone bad, him waking Sam in the night, asking him to leave Stanford to find dad yet again.

“What do you mean?” Cas caught Dean’s eye.

“I mean there were times when I was looking for my dad when all logic said that he was dead, but I knew in my heart he was still alive. Who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas, what do you believe?” Cas listened thoughtfully to Dean.

“I believe he’s still out there.”

“Good. Then go find him.”

“What about you?”

“What about me? I don't know. Honestly, I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am, I'm really good.”

“Even without your brother?”

“Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy.”

Cas seemed satisfied with his answer and they went back to sitting in silence. Dean glanced up again, watching Cas stare out the window. He turned up the stereo and turned up Simple Kind of Man.

\--

 _What a fucked-up weekend._ Dean wasn’t completely sure how he’d gotten here, driving cross-country with an angel of the lord riding shotgun talking about a search for God and how freeing it felt with Sam out of the picture. Dean’s mind flashed to the morning. He’d been standing in the bathroom of a cheap flop, trying to get vampire blood out of a jacket. He’d felt the hairs on his neck raise. When he’d looked up into the mirror, Cas’ reflection stared back intensely. 

“God,” Dean startled.

“Hello, Dean.” Cas’ tone was flat as ever. Dean turned to him, heart still in his throat, made worse by the fact that Cas was inches away from him.

“Cas, we've talked about this. Personal space?” While he said it, Dean stared into Cas’ eyes. Too close. _Too blue._

“My apologies.” Cas took a step back and Dean inhaled, steadying himself.

Cas wanted to find God, and he had a lead on the Archangel Raphael. Dean thought it was suicide to track down the angel that had killed him, but Cas was convinced that God’s will to resurrect him would be enough to protect them. That and Dean’s stats as Michael’s vessel.

Dean had paced around the room, fiddling with cleaning his knife and rearranging his gear. He felt results around Cas. More and more so lately. Maybe it was the amount of danger that followed him, or just the fact that he was a freaking angel, but Dean was on edge and couldn’t really explain why. But the moment Cas had asked for his help, Dean knew he’d say yes.

\--

They stopped at a Flying J station to fuel up the Impala. Cas looked over at Dean as he killed the engine, clearly pulled from his thoughts, and eyed Dean with a question on his face.

“I’ve got to hit the head. And give Baby $50 of the good shit. You want anything?” Dean felt weird talking, they’d been silent for the last hundred or so miles. His nerves had finally started to calm. His hands were still stiff from gripping the wheel and his neck ached where he’d sat rigid. It felt better to put miles between them and Raphael and driving always calmed him down.

“Dean, even in this vessel I do not require sustenance.” Cas looked at him mildly.

“Right, yeah, the angel thing. Cool, I’ll be right back.” He laughed to himself and got out of the car.

\--

Dean hung up the pump and smashed the cancel button four times too many trying to skip the receipt. Cas looked out at him intensely through the window. Dean felt the tension return. He slid back into the driver seat, made an overly exaggerated noise while stretching in place, and looked over at Cas. “Last leg, we can be there in two hours if we drive straight though.”

“Dean this would have been infinitely less cumbersome if you’d let me…”

Dean cut him off. “Dude, I told you. Last time I let you zap me anywhere I didn’t poop for a week!” Cas gave him a disbelieving look and shook his head.

Dean had been quick to demand to drive this morning. As soon as Cas reached out to touch him, his brain had malfunctioned. He could hear himself rambling, but fuck if he was in control to stop it. He was glad they’d driven. He never would have zenned out if they’d just zapped back and forth. _I am a simple man of simple pleasures. Driving counts as therapy._

“Yes I think that is a reasonable span for us to complete in one setting.” Cas never ceased to death grip logic. Yesterday when Dean had asked him what his plans for his last night on Earth would be, Cas had wanted to sit in quiet contemplation of his own existence. Dean couldn’t handle the thought of that. They’d wound up at a brothel on the wrong side of town, Dean passing rolls of Benjamin’s to Cas in an effort to get him laid. _No poor bastard should die a virgin._ It hadn’t worked, they’d ended up getting tossed out on their asses after Cas had mojoed a girl, apologizing for the wrongs of her father. It had been a shitshow, but Dean couldn’t remember a time he’d laughed that hard. Hell, he couldn’t remember a time he’d had that much fun.

\--

Dean pulled the car into the Baymont Motor Court and killed the engine. There was no sense waking Bobby at 3:00 in the morning, he was either passed out drunk or likely to come up shooting, or both. Dean was too tired, road worn, and overwhelmed with the day to go though those motions. Reaching over the seat to grab his pack from the back, Dean’s arm brushed against Cas’ trench coat. Cas stiffened in place and Dean froze. “Sorry, dude.”

“It’s quite alright, Dean.” Cas never looked away from the windshield.

“So… are you… Where are you… Do you wanna hang out… for a while?” Dean was used to Cas disappearing, not hanging around at the end of a day.

“I was thinking I might join you for a while, if that is agreeable for you.”

“Yeah, uh sure, I’m just going to go pick up a key.” Dean nodded towards the lit office and blinking open sign. “Do you wanna maybe grab some of this gear?” Cas nodded and Dean took that as good enough.

As he entered the office, the kid behind the counter jumped, smacking his knee on the desk and scrambled to hide a 40 behind the computer. “What can I do for ya?”

“I need a single. Just one night.” Dean went to hand him a credit card then thought better of it and traded it for cash. The kid took the cash and glanced out the window.

“Do you need two keys?” he said, nodding towards Cas who was sitting immobile in the Impala.

“No, uh, he’s not staying.” Dean choked out.

“Right, okay, sure.” The kid winked at him. _He fucking winked._ Flustered and annoyed, Dean grabbed the key out of the kid’s hand and pushed his way out the door. He struggled with the lock on number seven, finally getting the lock to give, and waved Cas over with the bags. Flipping on the lights, Dean went straight for the bathroom, shutting the door behind himself. He splashed water on his face, willing the day gone.

Opening the bathroom door, he was suddenly face to face with Cas again. _Fuck._

“What the fuck dude, we talked about this?” Dean’s tone didn’t sound as annoyed as his words had meant to.

“Apologies, Dean.” Cas did not step back. Dean could feel his presence all over. The hair on his neck pricked. He could feel the warmth of Cas breath on his face. Dean couldn’t tell if it was the proximity, the chaos of the day, how close they’d come to dying, or what the hell else, but there was that panicked feeling.

“I think I’ll let you rest.” Dean blinked and Cas was gone. The panicky feeling left with him, but in its place, Dean just felt sad.


End file.
